I Deserve It!

Repeat after me…….  I deserve it!!  Why do I always forget I don’t need permission from anybody to make time for me…… I now know it’s a bad habit that I learned by watching and imitating from other family members while I was growing up.  They even have a name for it now, its called Co-dependency.  While I didn’t have most of the characteristics of a co-dependent person, I had enough of them that messed with my growing up and messed with my adulthood.  I came from a very dysfunctional family and I became a survivor when I was very young.  I developed behaviors that helped me get thru life by denying, ignoring and avoiding difficult emotions.  I was an expert at being able to stuff everything away into a little compartment and close the lid and not have to deal with it.   I have worked on fixing myself over the years.  I still have a few bad behaviors that I’m working on now.  That’s where the 13 steps come into play. To help me fix the few that are left.  I fixed my problem I had with  my tendency to “love” people I could pity and rescue, I fixed my problem with doing more than my share all of the time, (now I only do what “I want to do”, no more “wonder woman” for me, I know how to say no to someone with a smile on my face and have no regrets), I fixed my problem with doing anything to hold onto a bad relationship because I believed it was better to have anyone than no one, (now I have that special “someone”, my “rock”), and I fixed my problem of my fear of being alone and be abandoned.  My “rock” helped me get over my feelings of abandonment by reassuring me whenever I needed it.  Men are not mind readers, I told my “rock” what I needed and when I needed it

Now it's time for me to take a moment for myself each and every day….. 

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. 


Apprentice Chick